This weekend wrapped up the second of two huge family weddings. This time, it was my husband’s cousin Ananta getting married. He now lives in Florida, as does his now-wife Diana. So to accommodate both sides of the family, the maticore, wedding ceremony and kangan were held in Orlando. Fast forward a weekend later, and the wedding reception was held here in New York City. So yes, not only was this wedding four days long (five, if you count the second kangan, basically a big curried meat fest, scheduled for today) but spanned two weekends. When it comes to weddings, Guyanese people can never be accused of “keeping it small.”
Last night was Ananta and Diana’s reception, and it had all the trappings of a traditional American wedding reception. Bride in a white dress, bridal party including two flower girls, first dance, speeches, multi-tiered wedding cake.
I was one of the few white girls in the room but after so very many years, I think we’ve gotten to the point where no one — especially me — notices. As my husband’s cousin Vick told me while sharing a drink at the bar, “You know what I like about you? What you see is what you get. You’re a very honest person. You’re not just married into the family; you’re one of us.”
Awww Vick. That choked me up. Then, later on in the evening, one of my husband’s many cousins referred to me as “Bhougie.” (Say it with me. BOW-gee.) I looked at Sid and laughed. What?! Bhougie is a nickname for “sister-in-law.” The only Bhougies I know of in Sid’s family are — sorry — old ladies. What was he saying? I’m now past my prime? We all laughed. But as Sid told me later, “Bhougie is a term of respect. You should be very honored.”
Well then. Bhougie it is. Only I’m the younger, paler, hotter version.
But before the reception even happened, Ananta and Diana had a beautiful, fun-fulled, Florida-in-August-hot wedding. Let me share with you their wedding journey. (Click on the photos to enlarge and view the slideshow.)
- The night before the wedding was the maticore. The groom is prepared physically and spiritually for the upcoming wedding ceremony. Here, the women of the family prepare for Ananta’s pooja, a religious ceremony meant to bless him before this big event.
- But before that Indira, the groom’s mother, prepares the offerings for the Dig Dutty.
- Ananta’s aunt, Mamso, carries the offerings in revered fashion.
- All the women walk to a spot not too far from Ananta’s house. I’m not sure how they pick it, but in this case it was a patch of grass at the corner of the road.
- The Dig Dutty begins — it’s just as it sounds — digging dirt. The offerings are placed in the ground and prayers are offered.
- The married women in the family all get big, round, red bindis.
- The religious ceremony begins. It is followed by the Rub Dye, during which a paste made of turmeric (dye) is rubbed on the groom’s body to purify him for the nuptials.
- The next day… The groom arrives for the wedding.
- He is greeted by some discerning ladies — he has to win their favor before they let him inside.
- Next Ananta has to win the favor of the women of the bride’s family (no easy feat, considering he was over an hour late for the wedding. Doh!)
- But with a face like this, how could you turn him away?
- The bride’s mother offers her blessings.
- Ananta enters the wedding hall, flanked by his parents.
- But he is totally upstaged by the bride, who is carried in like the Queen she is.
- Vows are made.
- Rings are exchanged.
- And after a ceremony that lasts nearly two hours, the couple is officially married. Congratulations!
- As guests dine on food prepared by the family, it’s not uncommon for random acts of dancing to break out. Here, my husband Sid (left) and his nephew (haha, yes that’s right) dance it out to a tassa drum band.
- Two families are now one.
- Here’s my family — looking quite spiffy I must say.
- And another one of my kids, just because — come on, they’re adorable.